So here ends the final thoughts of those 9 days. If anyone is still keeping up, thanks for reading. Now time for me to write about what I have been feeling since I got back from China. Hopefully I can keep up to date, so keep coming back.
Haha the cell phone alarm didn’t wake me up at 4:30 because the phone was on silent. I actually noticed that it seemed a lot brighter than it should of have been and ended up waking up at 5:28 which was 2 minutes before the normal alarm. No worries I just ran till 6 and ran another lap after to increase my total run time to about 80 minutes. During the jog I noticed my back wasn’t hurting but my leg started hurting more and more – it spread down my whole leg. The difference between now and before is that before I would have stopped because of the pain. Now I know different. The more I run, the more it hurts; the more it hurts, the more I need to run. We did 8 other exercises that are good for back pain again. The first time I did it (day 7), every single one of the exercises was extremely painful to do; I wasn’t able to reach as far or as long or bend down as much as others could. It is crazy; today I already don’t feel any pain in my back and the activities are much easier to do. That’s so much improvement I could cry; i didn’t feel like it then – most likely because I’m out of tears (just kidding).
I know this is just me being positive – but I seriously feel like there is no way I won’t get better. This statement used to be me just saying it to be positive and keep me going but I really feel it now. I don’t even have to think about getting up early, or running, or la jin, or pai da. When these things become innate, unconscious, and part of my lifestyle then it is pretty obvious I will be healthy – after all I learned disease comes from the mind (your lifestyle) – the choices I make now become ones that benefit my health. It is such a simple and beautiful concept – something that took a lot of work. 3 weeks of enduring, questioning myself for my problems, rewriting/relearning everything I knew about health, disease, and lifestyle. This certainly isn’t the easiest thing to change – it is obviously the most difficult. Nothing seems impossible now – this change has possibly been the hardest thing I have done in my life. Nothing in the future will compare because everything seems easy compared to what I have already done. This makes sense because I’ve experienced the bottom already and found out that it was actually the top. When your perspective changes (for the better) then of course everything is easier.
I will talk a little bit about food. Most people here a problem with eating too much. Of course I am skinny so my problem isn’t such that I can’t control my eating but more that my appetite is bad, my body can’t absorb well, and I am a picky eater. I probably ended up eating too many snacks, fruits, etc. Yeah I think I like sweets a lot. At my own home, my mom was cool/smart enough to not buy any of these processed foods. All the food we had at our house was essentially things to eat for dinner and usually had to be cooked. That’s why I liked going to my friend’s houses. They always had food, their parents or grandparents are always asking you to eat or whether you are hungry, and thus I would gladly accept. I probably didn’t eat that many snacks on an absolute scale but maybe so relative to how much “actual food” I would eat for say dinner. I have slowly gotten a lot better with this over the years. I stopped eating things like candy, ice cream, soda, as much as before. Now experiencing the world of fasting was a totally different experience. Of course at first we think we are going to die of starvation and that is a totally different topic I could address later. Let’s assume that we won’t die, because I weigh between around 90-115 pounds during this activity and guess what I’m still here. And I’m not just here; I’m better mentally, physically, and spiritually. So naturally after not eating for 5 days (done this twice now), basically everything tastes good. I described the rice I tasted as sweet when before I thought it had no flavor. I could tell how salty, spicy, sugary something was. I started to appreciate things that didn’t have to have flavor or an enormous amount of it. The only direction people are moving toward is more concentrated amounts of taste: spicier, saltier, more sugary, etc. Right now I’m fine with simple things like rice, porridge, bread, noodles even without additives. Basically taking away makes you appreciate what you had before (by a significant amount). If your kid is a picky eater or they won’t eat – please don’t force feed them. Remember no gets diseases because they ate too little, it’s because they ate too much. I’m not talking about people starving in third-world countries I’m talking about people in my situation where you can buy whatever food you want at whatever time in almost every location because we have supermarkets (to take it further we can order food delivered to us). There is no shortage of food for us to eat. So if anyone starts complaining about food then see if you can get to fast for 1-3 day and then slowly give them food back.
Talking about appreciation… I am appreciating my relationships and my friends because I haven’t seen any of them in over 5-6 weeks (including anyone who is my age and speaks English). Now everyone is a missed friend – I want to talk to everyone I know or whoever is online.
Today I was able to la jin for more than 30 minutes for both legs. Wow it was intense, and afterwards the pain in my hamstrings slowed started fading away in a certain section and I could bend down at little more easily. I also felt my hips had more movement and I could swing them in a larger circle. My right leg hurt a lot more and needs to be stretched more since that is also the side I had my injury on. When I was la jin the left leg I even started feeling a sense of falling asleep and didn’t have too much trouble getting through the 30 minutes (normally I can do 15-20 minutes).
Ok after more pai da on my back and legs – I feel good enough about my back to say I’m basically normal again. I just have to maintain this lifestyle – and my feeling right now is that it won’t be a problem. Thank God; thank everyone and thank everything good or bad. I understand what that means now. I realize that the bad things are actually good things if you think about them in the way that they show you have problems. In the case of disease – the worse the problems the more problems you need to fix on yourself because the intensity and amount of disease may have a correlation to the amount/intensity of problems plaguing yourself.
Monday: June 27 2011 – Day 9
I am done! I will get better. I will help myself and then help others. =)